Tuesday, April 7, 2009

happy happy

Ok! Today I'm being much happier. Did you know if you make yourself smile, it can trick your mind into releasing serotonin that makes you feel happier? So... smiling I can do! ...the hair... not so much... Not fake. Don't worry... I'm really truly feeling happier today. Still achy, still tired, but much better. Thank you for your words of encouragement! 

So, you know how I'm starting a new website (I just had to retype that word 3 times because I kept typing wesbite... hmm...)? Well, I haven't been able to work on it too much yet, but I DID get a Canon 40D which just happens to be one of the most incredible cameras EVER! I'm learning how to use it and how to edit pictures... slowly... but I'm so excited about it! I'm not becoming a professional photographer so when my site gets something on it, keep that in mind. But I'm hoping that by the end of the summer I'll have enough stuff on there to share it with everyone and people can start using it! yay!

At work we have to give out awards to our top students in our classes. If you teach 100 kids or less, which I do, you can only choose 3 people to give an award to. ugghh... I hate choosing! There are always way more than 3 people who deserve the award. And then after the ceremony, the other kids in your class will hear who got the award and I'm sure some of them feel kind of strange as to why they didn't get chosen. Honestly I'm sure it's much more of an emotional strain on me than them, but I just would never want any of them to feel any like I didn't want to give them an award. I'm really not playing into that whole mindset of "everyone's a winner!" but there truly are A LOT of my students who work really hard that deserve to be recognized publicly. hmm... I love those kids.

Monday, April 6, 2009



This pregnancy is different. This pregnancy...

Well, I feel really achy pretty much all the time. In fact, there were two days when I felt totally ok and took another pregnancy test to make sure I was still pregnant. 

I feel like I am not being the best mom or wife right now. I'm always a little tired. I'm always a little achy. I feel like there isn't enough of me to go around. 

Today I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. Today I'm feeling like, how can I ever do this with two kids? 

After Eli was born I definitely had postpartum depression. God please rescue me from that again. What if I have that again? But this time I'll already have a child who needs his mom to be the best she can be? 

I think I just feel really really tired, which makes me feel really really overwhelmed. I wish I would blog more, it helps my mind get some sort of structure but friends I have just been so tired. 

I miss you guys. :)

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Eli's word list

Sorry for the lack of blogging... this pregnancy is tiring!!!

Here's where we're at:

ooce (juice)
eeoy (Ebony)
nana (banana)
dah (dog)
bye bye
hehoh (hello)
mo (more)
psss (please... which is a rare word)
buh (book)
oyeessis (opposites... which is his FAVORITE book that we read 50 times a day, it's called God loves opposites)
ba (bath)
tiss (this)

dang... I thought there were two more that I counted but I can't remember them! 

His latest thing is taking his own diapers to the trash. It is awesome!! This child understands pretty much everything you say. kind of scary...