Friday, February 29, 2008

One week down!

Whoo hoo!! It's Friday! And today was a great day! Yes, I was super sad to leave again, but I was so happy that Wes was home! My kids at school are just as precious as can be, and we all had a great day together! I don't want them to have to suffer because I'm missing my sweet son.

Anyways, I'm home, and I'm happy and it's the weekend! yay!

I've almost finished reading my book, which is such a kuddos to me because I am terrible at finishing books! So I'm excited to finish it and start another book!

Here is what I got to come home to today! Blessings!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

where do I begin...

I feel like I have so much to say and no words to say it! Let me start by thanking you all for your comments, thoughts, and prayers. I have felt every good thing that you have sent me, and even though I literally cried every time I would read a new comment, those tears were tears of gratitude. So, truly, thank you!

This week has been such a roller coaster of emotions. Leaving Eli on Monday was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I have never ever felt a pain like I did that day (well, except for feeling it every other day this week as well.) There is no way it is supposed to be like this. A mother shouldn't have to ever feel that, and Wes and I are working really hard to figure out a way for me to stay at home or work part time. So please let that be your new prayer for us!

Meredith surprised me by spending the night with me on Sunday night. She took a half day on Monday to help me get ready that morning for my first day back. She will never know how much that helped me.

Hannah has watched Eli Monday thru Wednesday, and my mom took off today to watch him. Hannah is the best because she would send me a little text message during the day to update me. And of course Eli loved being with his Gigi as well! They both made me feel so good and I knew my precious baby was safe and sound with them! Hannah also took some super cute photos of Eli (seen below) which I LOVED so at least I didn't feel like I missed every moment of him while I was gone.

Getting to school is very difficult. Once the day starts and my kids come in it gets better. My students are fantastic and I do cherish my time with them, but my heart remains at home with my son. They have been very sweet and so understanding of my crazy emotions!

Wes came home today (hallelujah!) which I was anxiously awaiting! I know he missed us so much and we missed him! But I am so proud of him and the guys. They are working so hard and I know this world is a better place because of their music. Check it out!

Thanks for being so encouraging friends! I know this whole blog world may seem kind of crazy at times, but it has truly helped me so much this week! You all are very precious to me!! Lots of hugs to you!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


Well we survived the shots :) The nurse was great, she went really fast, and she was actually done before he let out the worst cry I have ever heard. So I immediately scooped him up and he started calming down and even smiled at me when I put him in the car. haha...I felt forgiven :)

We've been doing the Tylenol thing every 4 hours, which has helped. He hasn't felt his same totally happy self today, but I'm sure tomorrow he'll be all back to normal!

Meanwhile, I'm trying to focus on my final exam that I have on Thursday. It's really hard to stay on top of that because I have so many other things on my mind. Every day that passes takes me one day closer to having to go back to work. It makes me physically hurt. I know that millions of moms do this every day, but thank you to all of you who have been like "it's going to suck, and you're going to cry, and you're going to hate it." Those words have actually helped me so much actually. I go back to work on Monday.

Wes comes home next Thursday night. I can't wait to see him! I've been spending a lot of time with my parents, which has been a huge help to me!

I still haven't lost all my pregnancy weight...which is basically annoying. I have no doubt that it will all eventually come off, it's just frustrating not being able to fit into my jeans.

Geez... could I be more negative? Ok. Good things: Wes and the boys are doing great on the road! God is definitely using them and I am so proud of their dedication to their work! Eli is doing great and is very healthy! He is now 13.6 lbs and 23.5 inches long! Such a big guy now! We're working hard on "tummy time" every day, even though he doesn't like it too much... Old Navy is having a 40% off Kids/Baby clothes sale! Meredith, me, and my mom got Eli some much needed clothes for 3-6 months and 6-12 months! All good things :)

Here is Eli today! So precious in this little outfit! Thanks Sarah!

Here is Eli yesterday at the doctor's office (pre shots).

Monday, February 18, 2008

Happy 2 Months Eli!

We love you SO much!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Terrible Twos

Tomorrow is Eli's two month birthday. And although that is something to be celebrated because he's growing and he's healthy, I am dreading it... At 1:30 he has his 2 month check up, but that means he gets his 2 month shots. :( I'm sure it's going to be horrible... please be thinking of us.

Tomorrow is also the one week countdown until I have to go back to work. I try not to think about it, but it always crosses my mind. I've been trying to focus and turn those thoughts into prayers. I know we will make it. I know we will be "ok", but that doesn't make my heart hurt any less.

Sorry to be a Debbie Downer :) Here's some things to make you smile:

Saturday, February 16, 2008


Today Gigi and Gramps (my parents) came over to my house to visit Eli! I am so thankful to have my sweet parents so close. I know that Wes' parents wish they lived closer and so do we!

Not too much to say today, but I have to get some pics up here so Wes can see his son every day! :) Thanks Kelli for the super cute outfit!!

Gigi and Eli after bathtime!

haha...the most precious sweater and matching hat!

my son's favorite thing to look at is the fan :)

so sweet...

love those smiles!

he's getting so big!!

kind of hard to take a picture of yourself and a bobblehead :)

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day!!

I'm about to go to class, but I had to post these adorable pics of our precious son! Wes and I will get to watch LOST tonight which will sort of make up for me having to go to class on his only night home for two weeks!

Thanks Aunt Mere for my cute outfit!! - Eli

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Sneaky sneaky stretch marks

Not that it truly matters at all about stretch marks, because honestly, no one is actually checking you out like you think they are when you are in a bathing suit. BUT! I would at least like my stretch marks to accurately represent themselves!

I didn't get too many of them when I was pregnant. There are some reddish little lines on my love handles (which is the most ridiculous name...haha...) and I thought that was all. WRONG! As I am ever ever so slowly starting to lose this weight, I am now seeing there were ninja stretch marks on my stomach! They have been in hiding this whole time! Thanks a lot ninja stretch I need anything else to be body conscious about. :)

Anyways, to a sadder topic. Wes and the band start their 14 day tour this Friday. He'll be gone for 2 weeks straight! When he comes home, they will be here for about 3-4 days and then leave again for another 2 weeks. Wes won't be traveling with them that entire second 2 weeks though. Mainly because they set this tour up themselves and there are some days where they will get full pay (which he will be at) and then love offerings the rest of the days. We just can't afford to pay someone unless he's getting a full day's pay, so he is making the sacrifice to just go part of the time with the band on that second run. But I am so proud of them! They are working so hard to get their name out there more, and I know they will be rewarded for it in the end! So please be praying for Jeff Johnson, the band, and me and Eli while Wes is gone!

Here is the band minus Jeff...he was talking to people so I just took it without him :)
Steve (guitar), Jimmy (bass), Wes (guitar), Jason (drums)

Church was really good on Sunday. Eli and I don't actually get to be in there for the music portion because it is way too loud for him! I need to get some of those ear plugs like Gwen Stefani has for her son! So, we sit out in the foyer and we can see and hear the sermon from the screens out there. Anyways, the band kind of introduced themselves to the chapel service they play at, and I think it went great! Any time you feel more connected to the people that you are with on a weekly basis, everything just seems to go better!

Here are some cute pics from church: Oh! And we also ate at a new place for us (thanks to Meredith) called Ozona and it was yummy! We did happen to have to wait 30 extra minutes due to the fact that I had no idea how that place worked! We called in our name at church, they took my cell phone number, we arrived, checked in, and waited. Well apparently they call your cell phone to tell you the table is ready, even if you check in... they called at 1:01 and 1:02. Mere went and checked the list at 1:36 and they said they had been calling us. Geez... sorry guys. Now we know :)

Saturday, February 9, 2008

We are the body

Last night Wes and I had dinner with our dear friend Jourdan and of course it was such a blessing to be with her, and I always leave her with a deeper understanding of Christ and the power that we as Christians contain.

On the way home Wes and I were talking because one our other good friends, Runks, is in town this weekend. Runks' story is one of heartache, desperation, and rescue and if you ever hear that he is near you, please go hear him speak. Anyways, Runks has talked to me about how the church shoots its wounded so often. When people with struggles or pains that are "unspeakables" such as addiction (to anything), homosexuality, anger with God, or anything along those lines, when we can't go to church and be totally open and honest with ourselves and others about our lives, that just seems like such a tragedy, that probably everyone has been a part in, on both sides.

As I was talking to Wes, it got me thinking about shooting our wounded, which got me thinking about what a wound is and how our body reacts to a wound.

Romans 12:5 says "so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others."

I was never that good at biology, but I remember in health and biology learning about how our bodies heal themselves. If a foreign entity enters our body that is trying to harm us, our body rallies together and attacks the sickness. These microscopic parts of our body arm up for battle and race to the front lines to get rid of whatever is trying to harm us. They don't give up, run away, or talk about how gross that is and are glad they don't have to deal with it. They fight for the body.

Jesus usually uses terms that man can relate to, and by Him calling us a body, it seems like we should act like what a real body acts like. I googled "how our bodies heal themselves" and there were tons of medical articles talking about all the different ways our bodies can do that. It was awesome to read about! So instead of us shooting our wounded, we should fight for our wounded. We need to be a body that heals itself. The news is filled with ministers and members from every denomination getting "caught" doing something they are ashamed of. They are called out, berated, and usually abandoned. Observational learning is one of the biggest ways humans learn. So when we see what happens to someone like that (who may have been doing exactly what we are doing) we protect ourselves from that abuse, tuck it away, and continue to infect the body.

Why can't I always be a part in healing our body? Why do I not feel comfortable sharing struggles with other Christians sometimes? Why don't I act like a part of the body all the time?

In raising Eli, my prayer is that he will come to know Jesus in an intimate way, and that he will be a part of the body. He won't hurt those who are already hurting. He won't look away in someone's time of need. And that he will learn to fight for the body.

Friday, February 8, 2008

"the aunts"

My grandparents had 4 daughters: Sharon, Brenda, Pam, and Judy. I seriously don't know how they managed 4 girls! If you think of all the girl drama there is (good and bad), they had it times 4!

My grandparents were awesome. They were exactly what you would want your grandparents to be like, and our whole family is really close, so we all spent a lot of time together. And I think part of that is due to the fact that they had 4 girls. Usually, girls are just better about keeping in touch with the rest of the family.

-Sharon and John have 3 kids: Susan, Tim, and Michael
My cousin Susan has found the most wonderful guy, and so we're all hoping that they are about to get engaged so they can get married!!

-Brenda and Gary have 2 kids: Kevin and Matt
My aunt Brenda died of breast cancer when Matt was a toddler. Her doctor apparently was ignorant on a lot of things, and her cancer progressed rapidly and went untreated until it was too late. I never knew her, but I did have this dream once...

-Pam and Virdie (my parents) have 3 kids: Amanda, Josh, and Amy
My parents didn't think they could have children. My mom had MS during her mid-twenties and thought that might be playing a part in it (which she was healed of by the way- there is no cure and she no longer has it). They weren't sure what the reason was for not being able to get pregnant so they adopted me, and turns out she was a month pregnant with my brother. So we're only 8 months apart. Then they had Amy 6 years later. God is funny like that :)

-Judy and Keith have 5 kids: Brenna, Hunter, Tanner, Travis, and Cooper
They became foster parents and got Travis when he was about 7 months old. He came to them after being beaten up by his mother's boyfriend. He had spiral fractures in his arms along with several other things. It was disgusting, but he is fantastic. His mother got pregnant later by a different guy but she tested positive for meth during the birth, so they called my aunt and told her that Travis has a half brother that was just born and asked if she wanted him. So, they got Cooper the day he was born. They have both been adopted by my aunt and uncle.

So, the "aunts" or the "sisters" as we cousins call them are really close and can sometimes be very much alike when they are all cackling (laughing) and sometimes really different. But they are all very opinionated, very strong, and very much into the lives of their children- qualities that at times we love to hate :)

The boys in this family obviously outnumber the girls, but every time a new boy comes into the family, they quickly learn (in a good way) that the "aunts" definitely have a say.

Well the aunts came down this week, along with my cousin Susan, because Judy had a conference in Ft. Worth. It was so fun to see them, and of course they just basically wanted to be with Eli all the time! Pretty much every phone conversation ended with "make sure you bring the baby!" :) Here are some pics from their stay:

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Lay your burdens down

Usually I have a hard time with this. I don't really know why it doesn't occur to me to do this until I've wasted some time worrying and suffering, but I really want to get better at doing this.

One of the things that has been tormenting me is the thought of going back to work. I go back on Monday, Feb. 25 and my heart physically hurts when I think about doing this. I have amazing students and friends at school, which makes it a little easier, but my heart is stuck to Eli and the thought of not being with him pains me. I know he will be fine, especially because he'll usually be with his dad, but it's still not me. Selfish? Conceited? Nope. It's just how mothers feel...well, it's how I feel.

The first week I go back to work Wes is out of town...the entire week. When I first heard about that, I cried and cried. I love thinking of Eli being at home with Wes, but Eli being stuck somewhere with people I don't know at some drop off daycare made me want to throw up. After crying and worrying and making myself crazy for several, several days...I finally started talking to people about it and laying that burden down. So many people came to my rescue and so many people wanted to come to my rescue! Hannah will be keeping him Monday thru Wednesday which I am totally excited about and then my aunt Sharon will be keeping him Thursday and Friday. I just found out that she was doing that today and as I type this, tears are still streaming down my face at my complete excitement and gratitude! God truly does rescue me...why oh why do I make myself suffer?

Wes' parents came down this weekend, which we loved! They hadn't seen Eli since Christmas and he's changed so much I know they were dying to see him again!

And today we went to church and he got to see Aunt Mere and Aunt Mandi! He's almost 7 weeks old! I can't believe it!