Usually I have a hard time with this. I don't really know why it doesn't occur to me to do this until I've wasted some time worrying and suffering, but I really want to get better at doing this.
One of the things that has been tormenting me is the thought of going back to work. I go back on Monday, Feb. 25 and my heart physically hurts when I think about doing this. I have amazing students and friends at school, which makes it a little easier, but my heart is stuck to Eli and the thought of not being with him pains me. I know he will be fine, especially because he'll usually be with his dad, but it's still not me. Selfish? Conceited? Nope. It's just how mothers feel...well, it's how I feel.
The first week I go back to work Wes is out of town...the entire week. When I first heard about that, I cried and cried. I love thinking of Eli being at home with Wes, but Eli being stuck somewhere with people I don't know at some drop off daycare made me want to throw up. After crying and worrying and making myself crazy for several, several days...I finally started talking to people about it and laying that burden down. So many people came to my rescue and so many people wanted to come to my rescue! Hannah will be keeping him Monday thru Wednesday which I am totally excited about and then my aunt Sharon will be keeping him Thursday and Friday. I just found out that she was doing that today and as I type this, tears are still streaming down my face at my complete excitement and gratitude! God truly does rescue me...why oh why do I make myself suffer?
Wes' parents came down this weekend, which we loved! They hadn't seen Eli since Christmas and he's changed so much I know they were dying to see him again!
And today we went to church and he got to see Aunt Mere and Aunt Mandi! He's almost 7 weeks old! I can't believe it!