As you may know... Eli is now over 6 months old. In fact, next week (if you can believe it, because I can't) he will be 7 months old! He's not crawling, waving good-bye, rolling from front to back or drinking from a sippy cup but he is 100% perfect to me!And because I think he's just so perfect, it has been very difficult for me to leave him with people I don't know. Actually I've never left him with anyone I don't know before until last night at church.
My church going experiences have consisted of me sitting in the lovely green room backstage listening to the music and hardly listening to the sermons since he's been born. Yes... I do realize how many sermons I have missed (sorry Gabe). So last night I decided I was going to be a big girl and take him to the church nursery for the very first time. (some veteran moms might be rolling their eyes and the dramatics of this story... haha.. but seriously, this was very hard for me to do!)
We go to church at night since that's when Wes plays and so there were literally only like 6 kids total in the entire nursery. Eli was definitely the youngest. All the other kiddos were walking around playing everywhere. So, I registered him, signed him in, got a pager, put his sticker on him and kept the matching sticker, walked him into the nursery, handed my baby over to a complete stranger, my hands started shaking, and I walked out.
Meredith met up with me after that and we went into the service. After about 30 minutes (ok... 28 minutes to be exact), Mere and I went to the nursery to check on him through those mirrors you see on cop shows. He was doing ok. Just kind of looking around, swinging, and taking it all in. We stayed for about 5 minutes and went back to church. Then about 10 minutes later I was like, "let's go get him!" and so we did.
uugghhh... it is so hard to leave him with people I don't know. It is VERY VERY hard for me to do that. I wish I could say I felt all victorious for leaving him in the nursery for 40 minutes, but I don't. I don't feel bad, or feel like I neglected him or like I did anything wrong... I just didn't love it. But I guess that's ok too. :)
5 comments:
Or he could have horrible reflux and colic, and you could leave him with a stranger and enjoy an entire hour of a preacher, instead of the constant crying ... and enjoy it immensely, and then feel HORRENDOUS guilt that you did.
It's all part of being a mom!
You just can't win for losing!
YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! :)
He is a beautiful baby and I love that picture! I think I would have a hard time too if I had a little one that I had to leave in a nursery!
I totally understand! I was the same way both times. Yes, BOTH times. Somethings just don't get easier. That is until you do it and then you realize that your child is actually fine without there for 45 minutes, does smile, and is really happier to see you when you come back than when you left them. Next time won't be so bad. Promise!
hi! I'm Catherine's friend...you are SUCH a cute mom! I TOTALLY understand how you feel! I didnt leave my daughter who is now 10 with anyone she didnt know until she was almost 4!!!! I'm still the same way with my baby boy who is 1 year. Never second guess your feelings. You sound like a great and perfectly normal mom!!! Visit my blog sometime babyboyengland.blogspot.com
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