My first onesie

Wow. Today was an interesting day. First of all, I ended up telling all my kids at work about me being pregnant. So many of them were asking me about it off to the side that I decided to tell them. They were absolutely precious! They were so excited when I told them!! It was so cute!

Today I also decided to play in the student/faculty tennis tournament...hmmm...not so sure that was the best decision! When we finished losing I was so tired I didn't even know what to do. During that last match I don't even remember running at all I was so out of it. I grabbed some dinner with Liz, went home, let Ebony out and fell fast asleep.

Now to the good stuff. Liz bought me my first onesie today. It is absolutely adorable! It's a teeny tiny white one that says "party in my crib 2 a.m." Isn't that adorable? I took it out to look at a second time later on that day and I became really emotional. My eyes filled up with tears as I held this little bity outfit and I just became so in awe. I was just so in awe that I'm going to have a little bity person to fit into this little bity outfit, and it's going to be mine. Mine. Wow. Now that's something to to talk about. I think for the first time I really envisioned a baby...my baby... I still just have it laying out on my chair in my living room just to look at. I love it! And I think I'm really going to love being a mom to this baby!

Well, it's 10:20...I've been awake for about 20 minutes and I'm still a bit delusional...time for bed again. Thank you Liz for my first onesie! Goodnight.

A picture after my own heart.

I love Sundays. I love going to church and seeing all my friends, and now I love Sundays because those are the days when I get my weekly baby updates. Today is the beginning of week 6, and all the websites call it week 5 since those weeks leave out the period. Anyways...baby-gaga.com always sends out the really clever updates that tells what's going on with the baby and what's going on with me! Love it! Today's weekly cartoon suits me to a T. It's exactly what I did and that's exactly how I felt/feel! Don't you just love it when that happens? Plus it reassures me that I'm not crazy :)

Wes is leaving today. He's going to Abilene for a big celebration for his dad! I wish I could be there! I haven't seen his folks in awhile and they are so precious! Definitely wish I could see them more often...

Today my stomach hurts a little bit. I think "hurt" may be too strong of a word, but it just doesn't feel good... I probably need to eat something.

Oh...and I didn't make it to the gym this morning, but at least Ebony and I did make it through a 20 minute walk. That's better than nothing!

Tomorrow is a teacher/student tennis tournament. I have a feeling I'm going to be freaking exhausted...I was looking forward to this thing so much! (sigh) but now...bring on the rain.

I actually worked out!

Can you believe it? I was so proud of myself! And it wasn't just my usual take Ebony on a 30 minute walk workout, it was a 45 minute interval workout! WHOO HOO! I felt so good about myself! So, I stepped on the scale after my awesome workout and it said I gained 1 pound!

are you kidding me?!

(sigh) well, now's not the time to get freaky about the scale I suppose...apparently I'm supposed to gain 25 to 35 pounds over these next months. But still...

So I went to Half Price Books and looked through their pregnancy book section. I found a book with like 1,200 questions about pregnancy. Today I focused on all the questions about exercise. I guess that's the theme for today. It just kept reiterating how important it is to exercise. So, because I am already starting to love this little tadpole I have growing in me, I want to do the best that I can. I'm even going to try to go workout before church tomorrow! (or maybe after) ...we'll see.

I also was kind of wishing that I had a flat stomach. That way it would be totally easy to tell when I start showing. Right now if someone forced me to strip down they would think I was 4 months pregnant...I'm not. I just don't have a flat stomach...

Well, tomorrow is the beginning of week 6! I can't wait for my babycenter.com update!

A little birdie told me...

So the word is spreading around school. Yes. I'm pregnant! Whoo hoo! Can't you tell that something is different? Can't you tell that I'm not my usual chipper self? Now I am my super exhausted, can't keep my eyes open, barely paying attention self.

Now that people know you are pregnant, they feel like they can say anything and everything to you about their pregnancy. You're in a new club whether you want to be there or not. People who have never spoken to you ever will now be very involved with you! It's so interesting this whole psychology of pregnancy. I have heard more gross, disgusting, nasty stories from people that I barely know than I have ever heard in my entire life. My entire view of pregnancy has completely changed. :)

I've known for about a week now that I have a bun in the oven. So crazy. CAN I PLEASE GO TO THE DOCTOR NOW?????? (sigh) much better...

Superwoman

Yesterday was such a long day! I laugh now because I can't believe I survived! haha...I'm so pitiful sometimes. I left the house at 7:20 in the morning and I got home at 9:35 at night. I was again exhausted all day, and a little queasy during 2nd period. Just wanted to give a little update on yesterday.

Brown.

Today my heart sank. I saw a really small amount of brown spotting today. I know all the different things...implantation bleeding, maybe just a busted little blood vessel or something...but still. Anything can happen at this stage. I know that. I just don't want to constantly be consumed with that fear. I believe that God truly is all powerful. I believe that God truly is perfect. Don't I? I mean, do I truly believe that if I'm being so afraid of the "m" word?

You know, I have known several women who have had miscarriages. It was so sad for all of them, but I see them now and they are ok. They really are OK. So, I know that if that happens, God still holds me and loves me and makes things heal. But I just really really REALLY don't want that to happen...who does I guess.

Today is just a blah day. I woke up even more exhausted today, and then the spotting incident... Hopefully I'll be back to my more chipper self soon. :)

I'm just going to cry out to God that He remind me as necessary that He is totally in control and that He totally knows what is going on. I have never been this worried or fearful about anything in my whole life! So, this has to change. Or soften. Or something. Please Jesus, make everything be ok.

Tomorrow is a new day...

The size of a poppyseed

When you think about how tiny a poppyseed is, you think, "wow. that's really small." How can something so small do SO much! I mean, I am wiped out! I'm not even kidding! I am so tired! Is that possible? I keep reading and reading online and yes, lots of other newly pregnant peeps are super tired as well. Who knew? Wow. I'm really tired.

Every day I'm biting my lips not to tell my kids at school (I'm a high school teacher). I mean, I want to tell them so bad, but it's all for selfish reasons like:

A. you have to be nice because I'm pregnant
B. you have to listen to me because I'm pregnant
C. you have to cause me absolutely no stress at all...because I'm pregnant!

(sigh) that would be nice...haha...

It's still so long until my doctor's appointment. I'm still slightly annoyed by that. :)

Wes has been reading the books that I have been reading about the first trimester. He is know "in the know" on all things first trimester! haha... he's like "ok, it's normal that you're feeling this way" or "you are textbook pregnant." hmm...what does that mean exactly? .....I am way too tired to think about that one.

Well little poppyseed, you can make me feel however you want as long as you stay healthy.

8 to 9 weeks? Are you kidding me?

Today I called my doctor's office. They open at 8:30. I called at 8:29. Thankfully, someone answered. I said, "hi, I'm a patient here and on Saturday I got a positive pregnancy test." She was very nice, asked me about my period, and then we set a date. I know they hear these things probably almost every day, but I think I needed some sort of validation from her. I think I needed her to say "Yes! A positive pregnancy test means that you are absolutely, without a doubt, 100% pregnant!" Why? Why do I need that?? I just don't know... And do you really have to wait that long to go in???

So am I really contemplating buying yet another pregnancy test? YES!! HECK YES!! geez. Why am I like this? Pregnant people of the world: do you feel this way too? Am I the only one?!

I can't stop thinking about it. I pray at every free second in my head, God please please PLEASE let this baby be strong and healthy. Sometimes I say it out loud. I know a lot can happen during 9 months...especially the first trimester. (sigh) God please please please let this baby be strong and healthy!!!

Are my thoughts going to be running 100 mph during this entire pregnancy? I'll let you know...

Two Faint Lines

So yesterday morning I took a pregnancy test. And when I say "took a test" that really means that I took six of them...yep, $57 later, I was pretty sure that I was pregnant. The first day of my last period was Sunday, March 25. That makes my due date December 30, 2007. wow. This baby better be born in 2007! What a great tax write off! (oh you know you were thinking the same thing.)

I've called almost everyone that I know. But the best person I told was Wes, my husband. Wes was so cute about it. He kept saying, "Are you serious? Are you serious?" And when he finally believed me he said, "WHOOOOOO HOOOOO!!!!" hahaha...gosh I love him.

Well, today was the first day of week 5. That's really week 4 of pregnancy, but for some reason they like to confuse everyone and count the week of your period. Babycenter.com is keeping me updated on all that is going on with my growing little sac of cells. This is my first. It's probably going to be interesting.