Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Your Kindness Lord

There's a worship song that has the line, "it's Your kindness Lord, that leads us to repentance, Your favor Lord is our desire, it's Your beauty Lord that makes us stand in silence, Your love is better than life."

Sometimes when I look at my life and all of the kind things that God has done for me and my family and my friends, I will almost (and usually actually) start to cry just in awe of how merciful He is to me. "It's Your kindness Lord, that leads us to repentance..." It makes me feel so small and so insignificant and so right all at the same time. Especially now that we have Eli, I am just shocked into silence practically at how perfect he is and how amazing he is and how much I love him. And to think that those feelings are such a fraction of how God sees us truly overwhelms me.

It is at times literally breathtaking to me that He loves me so much. I want to remember that, yes God uses discipline and yes he uses kindness. I sometimes feel His discipline when I abuse or take for granted his kindness, yet it His kindness that overtakes me the most. Thank you Jesus for letting me feel that.

I came in here to check your blogs and to update mine while Eli was eating his bottle and laying on a pillow. It got really quiet which either means he's in trouble or he's asleep, and as you can see, he was asleep. It was that moment that I was again just knocked over almost with the kindness of God. It honestly took me a minute to even know what to type because really, what can you say that can even come close to describing how you feel in a moment like that.

Yesterday was Eli's 9 month check up. He weighs 23.11 pounds (right at the 95th percentile) and is 30 1/2 inches long (still above the 95th percentile). He is so funny and we were laughing because Dr. Grace was like "you know you and Wes aren't really big people, but he is a big baby!" He's happy and healthy and ended the day yesterday by catching a cold. So, last night wasn't the greatest for him because his nose is all runny and yucky and the gunk in it was making it harder for him to lay peacefully and breath through his nose. He woke up a lot last night, which is not normal for him. I felt bad for him (and us...) but he's acting fine today... just covered in snot and drool... mmm...

We're about to go to Babies R Us to get a new bottle brush. Wes cleans the bottles for the most part and says we need a new brush! He left today so I'll "surprise" him by getting a new bottle bursh! haha... won't he be so excited? :)


lkalivoda said...

thank you for this post!!! Oh our GOd is so amazing and it is such a blessing to be a mother and to gain a different grasp of the Love of our Savior!!!

Kate, Drew, and Em said...

Amen...plain and simple!

Shaunna said...

Hi Amanda:)

I'm just a blog stalker who finally decided to leave a comment;)

This post is absolutley beautiful! I too have moments when I just look at my sweet 4 month old and well up with tears...What blessings the Lord has poured out on me and my family!

Thank you for this post- What a precious reminder of how good our God is!

I love keeping up with your blog- Eli is too cute!

Shaunna Dawson:)

sarahdodson said...

This IS a great post, Amanda. It's so good to reflect on the goodness of God. The more we do, the more grateful and content we are. Thanks for this reminder.

Yay for the new bottle brush:)

Hope your son feels better soon:(